Have you ever felt inadequate? Unworthy? Lost? Beaten down?
I have! Although the picture that I present may often be shiny and happy, I, like many others, face the treachery of life and life's choices. You see, I have never really known what I wanted to do in my life. I never really understood myself entirely. I knew what made me tick, but I really did not know what made me happy. What is it that I truly enjoy with all my heart? What's out there that will drive my mind so crazy that I can't wait to do it again? What puts a smile on my face?
You see, I got the awakening of a lifetime from a very unlikely source. I was caring for a youth that has a series drug addiction problem, combined with some mental health issues. Now although the majority of the words that he spoke could not be taken serious, he brought up a an observation that hit a nerve in me. I almost felt like I was sitting under an interrogation lamp, placed alone in a dark and damp room. I could feel my body quake as those words left his mouth and reached me unprepared ears. He said, "You are unhappy! You are so series! You never smile!."
Now why the hell would I take such a statement so seriously, especially coming from a drug addicted teenager? He was right!
I had just been through a slew of life's challenges and I wasn't enjoying myself or my life. I can't truly say I am enjoying myself or my life at the moment, but I'm trying everyday. I look at myself in a different way now. Not so critical, but more observational. I look at others in the same way as well.
Come Monday, I am going to try and enjoy every moment of working out. Stop dreading it and start appreciating the small and steady successes that I have earned. And as I finish up my last four classes for my Business Administration degree, I'm going to soak up as much information as I possibly can. Engulf myself into each and every moment and slowly begin to enjoy life again.
Justen,
ReplyDeleteHave you read "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? If not, you need to read it as soon as possible. This book was the first to change my life. Until I read it, I was just like you, serious, stressed, under-the-gun, feeling overworked (and unconciously doing my best to show it), and generally not enjoying life.
While the book proposes to teach you how to deal with other people, it actually teaches much more about yourself. Please, let me know what you think of it.
Bob Muir
Thanks Bob! I absolutely love that book. I should reread it. I don't know what it is. I think I just lost myself in trying to cope and workout the problems my nephews have been having. Almost blaming myself for their failure. I know I have done the best that I could, if not better, but to continuing to see them fail irritates me so much.
ReplyDeleteTheir challenges compiled with every other small challenge that has come up has pushed me off the emotional wellness track and I did not even realize it.
Thanks again Bob! You reminded me of that wonderful book! I definitely will reread it asap!