I Just Wanna...

Life is often complicated and overwhelming. 49 hour weeks at work, coming home to care for an ailing grandmother, going to school full time, while trying to be a role model and figure of positivity for a complex 13 year old that has physically been through hell. It's easy to say, "if it's too much, don't do it, just quit." That's the thing though! Quitting is so easy that it doesn't make any sense for me.

I would be a liar if there wasn't a financial need behind all the work I put out. That is a major part of why I continue to work so endlessly and so diligently. But at the same time, why quit when I love everyone that I work for, work with, and everything I am working towards. I am the type of person that absorbs other's pain, problems, needs, and fears. I love whole heartily and I am willing to stand before anyone or anything to make sure my friends and family aren't hurt.

I must admit though that sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with everything I do. Sometimes I feel unappreciated, taken advantage of, and just plainly stressed out. Especially lately, I have felt on many occasions that I want to through my hands up and say f*&k it all. You know what I mean? Sometimes I want to detach from the person I am. Release myself from the responsibilities of life and walk away from it all. Freedom, Carelessness, and no Responsibility! Absolute bliss! Oh how I ache for the day!

I know, sound a bit bi-polar but that wasn't the point of this blog entry.

The point was that every now and then I am reminded of the reason why I do what I do and why I do so much. Every now and then the compliments and gratitude are graciously given. "You are one of the best foster parents that we have." "Is there something that I can do to help you further your career?" "I don't know what you do, but I have never seen this much progress in a child before." "You should be a nurse, your grandmother is doing amazingly well."

Don't get me wrong! I'm not trying to gloat, I just want to remind you, as well as myself, to not overlook the compliments that people give you. I often overlook those compliments and assume they are just being nice and really don't mean it. But even if they don't, take a moment to appreciate the words. Compliments usually don't come easily. Appreciate the effort others make by giving you a compliment, whether big or small. Life is too short to not stop and appreciate the wisdom and appreciation others offer us.